Conan Encounters Greenland’s Sea Creatures – CONAN on TBS


(traditional music) We’re down by the sea. Yeah. It’s beautiful! Look at those mountains! Yeah! It is absolutely gorgeous here! Yeah, it is. I’m so excited about America getting this. I really do think this is gonna be great for us. This is an amazingly beautiful land you have, and for America to own it, for it to be part of America, is very exciting. Where are we now Vivi? We are at the old place that’s new, no… The old place? The old place? You’re the expert on Greenland? What is this building right here? It’s the old umm… Everything is the old this and the old that! That is famous church is it not? Yes.
Yes. It’s a hospital. An old hospital. Yeah, OK, let’s just assume that everything is old. Do people often swim here? People swim here. It’s very cold though, right? Very cold, but it’s good for the body. It’s not good for the testicles. If I went in water this cold my testicles would go somewhere up inside, I think my shoulder, would be up here in my shoulder. To pleasure myself I need to get up here. It got weird fast. Yeah.
(giggling) Vivi tell me, what is that marking mean on top of that roof C11? It’s the marking from World War II . World War II?
Yeah. So the helicopters could see what town they were in. Ah, so the planes coming in, if they saw a C11 they could know which part of… Helicopters, yeah. I don’t think there were helicopters in World War II. What? Nah, they came along in the Korean War. OK.
Gotcha! Some guide you turned out to be. (laughing) So in World War II when Lime Scooters were on their way to Germany to attack, they could tell by the C11 what’s happening. Vivi, this is a famous statue, what’s going on here? It’s the Mother of the Sea. What is the story here? She is the Mother of the Sea, and she don’t like trash in the sea, so when there’s trash in the sea, she tells all the creatures to come down to her. I see an inter-species orgy. From seal, on bear, on woman, on dude action. That’s what I’m getting. And then there is carp down here. It’s really being excluded from the fun. Look at him; he’s not too happy about it. “Who’s mating with me? I walk alone.” I think Trump would be more interested after he sees this statue. That’s all I’ll say. (audience laughing) What are we doing for dinner tonight? What’s the plan? Are we going to a restaurant? You were gonna take me someplace. What’s the idea? To my place. Seriously, are you inviting me to your house? Yeah.
That’s so nice! Oh, wow! This is beautiful. We’re about to enjoy a true Greenlandic meal. Describe these dishes to me if you will. What do we have here? This is just lamb. That’s lamb. This is Muktuk. What is that? Whale skin. That’s whale skin. Fat from a seal. Fat from a seal.
Yes. Did it go in for a liposuction they took the fat and the seal then went on to date, happily with the seals? Yeah, why not? (audience laughing) This right here? Dry seal. Dry seal. Yeah. If I were to throw that into a bathtub, would a seal just emerge? No.
(laughing) Okay. Silly question I suppose. Yes.
(laughing) It’s just how my imagination works. This is dry cut. Yeah. Okay.
There are two of them. Oh these are two!
Yeah! I thought this was a freak of nature. It looked to me like you had accidentally killed one of the only two-headed fish in the world. You want some lamb? Do I have to cut it? Well we’re gonna cut it, here you go. That’s your lamb. Want my slice of seal fat? It’s really tough to cut! Use your fingers to grab it. I’m not getting in there with my fingers. That’s seal fat! Can you do it? I’m scared. It’s moving and it’s doing things. Oh my God… Man. Didn’t the seal ever try a salad? (Vivi laughing) This is a true, true Greenlandic meal. Why’re you shaking your head “No”? I can’t eat that much. Well you don’t have to eat it all. When this country becomes part of America, we’ll be wasting a lot of food. That’s what we do in America. We throw food away. (laughing menacingly) (audience laughing) Do you mind if I say a quick prayer? Yeah… Dear God, may Greenland soon become part of the United States, whether they want to or not. Amen. (audience laughter) Tell me, what are some of the traditions of a Greenlandic meal? What kinds of things are discussed? I wanna fit right in. Seamlessly. The weather. The weather?
Yeah. Okay, let me guess how that goes. Pretty cold out there, huh? (laughter) Hey, kids, you have a good day at school today? What’d you learn? Nothing.
Nothing. You’re gonna love America. (audience laughs) What did you study in school today? Math. Math? Do you like math? Not when I can’t figure it out. Yeah, I had a hard time, too. When I couldn’t figure out math, I became very angry and frustrated. And then the other children would beat me with sticks. (audience laughs) A very painful part of my- Why are you guys laughing at that? That’s not funny. I was beaten-
(children laughing) No, no, that’s not funny! When I struggled with math as a child I was beaten! Beaten with sticks-
(child laughs) Is it discussed in school? President Trump buying the uh… Yes. They talk about it in school? Every day. And what do the kids think? What do the young people think? It’s just a big joke to everyone. A big joke to everybody?
Yeah. Really? Yeah. Well it’s not a big joke. That’s why I’m here. You think I flew 6 thousand miles for a big joke? I think that’s exactly what I did. (audience laughter)

100 Replies to “Conan Encounters Greenland’s Sea Creatures – CONAN on TBS”

  1. I freakin love Conan. Hes so good at mixed messaging. And I have to believe that most people he talks to in other countries get the sarcasm and know hes joking, but it's the ones that for a moment think, 'omg, he's terrible. what the hell is wrong with Americans' that I feel bad for. Come on Conan. Don't make us all look clueless. Haha Not all Americans are terrible. Just an ENORMOUS handful. Lol

  2. That man’s face during his prayer…priceless! Conan’s humor far exceeds any rehearsed comedy of other late night personalities!

  3. He feels guilty that America is so much better than other countries so he shits on it and puts it down to feel better.

  4. Lick my dirty as.hole an slide my s.it up your a.. after your holes blown out no no Brent I think us stealing will be quite enough but I could still use some of your s.it . Also let's buy my coc.

  5. I also see an inter-species orgy – that was literally my first thought: something really,really strange is going on with that statue! XD

  6. "You think I flew 6000 miles for a big joke??", " I think that's exactly what I did" 😂🤣😅😭 Conan is hilarious!!

  7. It’s funny how the media and the news make it to be a big old joke. When strategically it’s actually a really good idea. Rich with minerals and natural resources. And a good military advantage.

  8. 😂😂😂😂😂😂 I wish Sona was here… She would have fit in perfectly… 😂😂😂😂😂😂

  9. I watch a lot travel blogs, americans visiting another countries, and most of them behave just like conan in this video. A bit rude, mocking/making fun things/people, throwing sex jokes, say bad things about cultural food. I guess americans always feel superior, i mean "confident as american" in everywhere they are in..

  10. When are we buying Greenland? I want to buy some property there. I want to get there before the likes of Jeffrey Epstein make it their Island.

  11. I am soo excited that he went to Greenland. Recently found out I have Inuit in me and that's exciting! I want to learn more! 🙂

  12. I think Greenland is halfway there. Much of the population is fluent in English so that's plus. Guns are also readily available so that's good too. Unfortunately much of the Greenland system is still based on the Marxist Danish welfare system which blatantly robs the Greenland of its' freedom by granting universal education and healthcare.

    That has to change, if you're ripped to bits by a polar bear why should't you pay to be stitched back together? So in order to grant Greenland independence under the United States, that glacier must be melted(No swamps to drain in Greenland). Then there's real estate, Nuuk is a pretty depressing place, why not build New Las Vegas? I'm thinking a Trump Tower would lighten things up aswell.

    So yeah, halfway there.

  13. They're such sweet mature people, they didn't get Conan 's silly humor at all, I don't think Conan demonstrated being in touch and sensitive to how much they are offended by Trumps bullying proposal. Poor people probably felt threatened and the only sound smart way I suppose to deal with it was to laugh at it so that people wouldn't get weirded out by it, especially the children, who laugh but nonetheless are the most impressionable. I'm glad they were all together and on the same page about rejecting it, which proves how assaulting they must have felt the whole story was

  14. Conan is the scourge of tour guides everywhere. He is right though there were no helicopters in widespread use in WW2. Conan actually knows things. Hmmm.

  15. She welcomed him into her home and made a meal of traditional dishes from scratch. The exact opposite of what every single American would do in the same situation. "I have to take this foreigner around for the day, where can we go to eat?"

  16. 🔎🔍🔐🖇📕☯️💖you’re nut, but more fun then watch me. Trump on news! 💯⭕️❌🆘🖤🤷‍♀️

  17. take trump out of presidency America, you're making yourself a joke to the world. Bush Jr. and now Trump .. you have 2 of the dumbest presidentsin your country's history. Are you gonna vote for him again? mostly likely you would.

  18. I love food from almost any part of the world but their food in Greenland looks so gross , its not a wonder they are fat. eating blubber and grease and rubbery looking fats.

  19. That was so funny. Their diet is definitely an acquired taste no doubt. I noticed Conan was only eating, soup?!?! I loved that house so nice.

  20. According to wiki: helicopters were used in WW2 (limited). The Korean war is when helicopters first started being used for medical purposes.

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