Conan & Jordan Visit The Toto Toilet Showroom

I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking that right now I’m on the set of Westworld or J.J. Abrams’ latest sci-fi futuristic concoction, but no. I’m at the Toto Toilet showroom in Tokyo. Joining me right now is a huge fan of Japanese toilets. He’s talked about them quite a bit over the years. Jordan Schlansky. Jordan, tell me, what is it about Toto Japanese toilets that you love so much? I love any toilet bowl that washes your anus. People wash every other part of their body that is never as dirty with soap and water, but the anus, they say, don’t worry about it, just use this paper. I just don’t understand. Even while the rest of the world washes the anus, the United States sits back and says, no, we’re okay, because a little piece of paper does just as good a job. Now I ask you, you’re a proud American, are you confident in the cleanliness of your anus? That’s the most patriotic speech, I’ve heard any American give in a long time. Meet Mr. Kuwahara. You–hi. You work here. Oh hi. I already did. Just do it again. Oh, look at that. My friend is only interested– what happened? Oh it sterilized–I thought… I thought it was making a point of some kind. You’re welcome to speak anytime. My friend only wishes a toilet with washing capabilities. I don’t believe washing one’s anus should be a luxury. I believe washing one’s anus is a right, not a privilege. Yeah. John F. Kennedy, I think said, we have the right and privilege, but you’ve probably taken that and probably elevated it. How does the stream of water know how to hit its mark? The average anus point. But what if someone was outside the average? Mine is more here. We don’t know what happened, but it drifted and it’s here now. I’m sort of, like this. I think it’s barbaric that we have to go to the toilet. I think the toilet should come to us. It comes and finds me when it’s time. And it just nudges me like a dog And I’m like, what the, hey, he’s right and then I go. This idea is my gift to Toto. Thank you. So it agrees that it’s a good idea. Yes. They’re–I’m telling you, they’re thinking! They’re thinking! When you leave at night, these toilets all have adventures. You have no idea what they’re doing. Do you ever get a celebrity voice? Because I could be a voice of a new toilet. Hello, please have a seat on me. I’m American TV comedian, Conan O’Brien. Oh…you had a pretty big dinner. Easy there, fella. Well, thank god we’re done. See you next time. And check me out on TBS, weeknights at 11. Do you have toilets that play music? Do you think it’s necessary to– I don’t mean to be repetitive but I just want a toilet bowl that is low to the ground and washes the anus. I strongly suspect you’re being paid by the Anus Council. You have said the word 600 times. Anus. Anus. Anus. Clean an anus. Anus. Anus. Anus. Anus. Anus. Anus. Washes the anus. Your anus. Anus. The anus. Your anus. My anus. Your anus. Your anus. Your anus. Anuses. Your anus. Your anus. Your anus. The anus. The anus. One’s anus. Anus. The anus. The anus. The anus. Dry the anus. Dry the anus. The anus. The anus. Other than the anus. Anus. Anus. How many seconds does it take to clean your anus? How long does this last? Oh I have to stop it. If that was me, my anus would have been destroyed… a long time ago. What’s the longest a human has endured? What’s the record? Has anyone gone four hours straight, and my second question is, did he survive? And my third question is, why are you letting me ask these questions? Also, apparently, a power surge recently, in Osaka, a man was blasted off the bowl. Sorry, that’s insanity, sorry. He was shot into the air. He went out in the sky. Okay. Okay. Let’s call the police. This is over. This is ridiculous. Would you like to maybe come get a drink with us? Let’s get out of here. Let’s go. Come on.

100 Replies to “Conan & Jordan Visit The Toto Toilet Showroom”

  1. Dude in indonesia almost every toilet in indonesia has a spray and even when it doesnt it you still had to wash your butt

  2. These toilets should be programmed for specific protocols that reflect sensitivities to the input of preferred gender pronouns.

  3. Next time my parents dog takes a crap on the patio I'll advise them to just splash some water on it and it should be very clean

  4. In Puerto Rico toto is slang for pu$$y so when I use a urinal with that brand name I just can’t help but laugh, takin a leak on a toto😂

  5. While recovering from my first hip replacement I had limited range of motion (hard to reach!) so I started using a bidet sprayer attachment. It's been two years and I'm never going back. There is nothing like having a truly clean butt hole. It is paramount in proper personal hygiene.

  6. Everyone on d video is laughing. Bt Jordan is right. Everyone cleans their ass with a bidet in many parts of the world. I cannot thi k of just wiping it without washing it.if u hv never tried washing it i suggest u try.

  7. In my country every toilet has a waterspray to wash ur but…and i really cant get use to using toilet paper haha

  8. Well we in turkey (likely all muslim countries) just used and are still using certain bowls or small watering cans to do the job….
    There are more modern variants. However, the old versions are still in use.

    Cleaning ourself with water is a realy long tradition in turkey (I'm talking centuries)

    I don't understand the dramatic voices that are talking about "luxury" and "right" of washing oneself.

  9. I can seriously listen to Jordan enthusiastically talk about clean anuses forever. It never stops being entertaining.

  10. All these comment saying it shouldn't be a luxury… Well it isn't, what do you think the purpose of a shattaf (bidet shower) is then?

  11. 4.53 whenever Jordan cant help himself & bursts into laughing, even if he 's about to, but stops, I totally lose it 😂😂😁💥😁…!❕

  12. I truly believe that Jordan is a character after that almost open laugh, and if he isnt, and he is real like that, then im waiting for you to open him up, that would be amazing to see such a calm person to laugh his ass off with you, Conan

  13. These things really are life changing – once you get one you realize how unclean just using toilet paper is. Even if you can't afford the latest high-end Toto with all of the sci-fi features, spring for a toilet bidet – the cheaper ones are a couple of hundred dollars, which is a small price to pay to stop living like an animal.

  14. I like the show of Conan better than any other latenight tv shows because they always think of creative stuffs. They have variety of segments that are'nt boring. Jordan and Sona are also good!

  15. haha i remembered my first trabel to Japan and my first picture is the Toilet because theres a lot of button in the side that wash your butt 😂😂

  16. I am glad Jordan mentioned it, the rest of the world does wash their butt, I always found it odd that people here in the U.S. think they are super clean when they dont even think to clean their butt.

  17. Some Asian countries wash their ass with water which is cleaner that way no skid marks or oozing smell after a sweat

  18. In kokura there is one big Toto toilet museum. There is at least 100 different toilets.

  19. Men are from Mars….
    Women are from Venus…
    Jordan Schlasky is from…..

    Neptune (Uranus adjacent) 😜

  20. Surprised at how the dude legitimately didn't seem to get annoyed with Conan. Usually foreigners don't understand his sense of humor and see it as repulsive.

  21. Not in the rest of the world , we have the sistem but not automatic one maybe for 100 years in Turkey and now spreading to many countries, I think ours is better because it's with pressure you can arrange makes it cleaner, this one very weak, so Jordan is wrong in this case .

  22. i feel bad for the people that represent the companies that comedians visit. the comedians are trying to be funny for their audience but the representatives are trying to do their job and make companies look good but have to remain professional so they kinda just have to listen and endure the strange things comedians say.

  23. Dear Jordan, just come to Egypt! We do have all over the country the washing toilet but not same as the digital Japanese one. 😁

  24. 5:34 everytime i saw this photo i feel like " this guy is the original troll, the same trollface head and the same humor kinda"

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