Full Blown, Four Alarm, Holiday Emergency


NOBODY’S LEAVING. NOBODY’S WALKING OUT
ON THIS FUN, OLD-FASHIONED
FAMILY CHRISTMAS. NO, NO! WE’RE ALL
IN THIS TOGETHER! THIS IS
A FULL-BLOWN, 4-ALARM HOLIDAY
EMERGENCY HERE. WE’RE GOING TO PRESS ON,
AND WE’RE GOING TO HAVE THE HAP-HAP-HAPPIEST
CHRISTMAS SINCE BING CROSBY
TAP-DANCED WITH
DANNY FUCKING KAYE! AND WHEN SANTA SQUEEZES
HIS FAT, WHITE ASS DOWN THAT CHIMNEY
TONIGHT, HE’S GOING TO FIND THE JOLLIEST BUNCH
OF ASSHOLES THIS SIDE OF
THE NUT HOUSE. HA!

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