The Best of Baseball – Tosh.0


Cute trick, now choke up
and hit a sac fly, rook. Meet wiffle boy. The best wiffle
ball pitcher in the world, which will open up
zero doors for him in life. But I don’t give a crap how
ridiculous those pitches are, I can take anyone deep. Nice to meet you wiffle boy. Actually, it’s Shawn. Well Shawn,
prepared to be embarrassed. You want a couple warm-ups? One or two. Am I exposed? 95.
Why you throwing changeups? Come on, bring the heat. I’ll take my base. I got to get a different bat. Pretty impressive Shawn,
but now I’m going to see if you can strike out my top
three batters on team.0. Heads up,
two of them are Latino. You ever see the movie Wanted? No. Don’t worry, it’s not important. The only thing I regret doing
was wearing my Dolce & Gabbana sunglasses. That was to the face.
We’re okay. Please don’t show that. I wonder if D&G is going
to do the right thing? All right, Steven I got us
this nice seedy hotel room for the next two
and a half hours so you can unwind, why don’t you
tell me what happened that day? A couple friends and I were
going to a Phillies game. And it was dollar dog night. Dollar dog night? Yes, it was. How many hot dogs did you
put away that game? I had a decent amount,
I’d say probably five. Hold on.
You had five hot dogs in you, and you still ran like the wind,
that’s incredible. Did your dad
tell you not to do this? I called him actually. You called him before
you ran on the field? Yes. And what did he say? He said, “I don’t believe
that’s a good idea, son.” Did you hang up the phone
going, “Well, he doesn’t know
what he’s talking about?” And then what happened? Top of the eighth inning came,
saw my opening, jumped on that field
and took off. Right when I got to
about center field, I looked around, just saw
that security guards were getting on the field. I see a security guard
pointing a gun at me with a green tip on it,
I had no idea what it was. Decided to call it quits,
attempt to dive on the field, and then there it was. So you had given up?
Yes. Before you were even shot? That is correct. At this point, were you,
“This was a horrible idea.” Or were you still,
“I’m glad I did it.” I was just in shock
that everything went down. I actually got tasered. What did you think was going
to happen when you ran on the field? Really didn’t have any clue,
I just want to get out there. But you knew you’d get arrested,
right? Well, yes. I knew something like
that was going to come. Had you been drinking? No, not at all. That was probably why it took
seven officers and a taser
to bring you down. Yeah. Did he ask if you had a heart
condition before he tased you? No. So this is the shirt you wore? Yes. It’s actually a blood stain
where I’ve got shot. You didn’t have a Tide
stick on you? No. Take me out to the ballgame,
take me out to the crowd, buy me some crackers
and some peanut jacks. If I ever get back. Then he goes back, right?
Root for the home team. For the Knights. For the Knights, okay. Root, root,
root for the Knights. If they don’t win
it’s a shame. One, two, three strikes your out
here at the old ball game.

19 Replies to “The Best of Baseball – Tosh.0”

  1. Baseball is a boring trash sport (scientifically proven), but if baseball had more stuff like this in it then I would consider watching

  2. 1st pitch he throws I'm jumping in front of just to rush him and knock his teeth down his throat. then break the fuk out his pitching arm. 🤷‍♂️in at least 3 different places.

  3. Tosh is still handsomes why we never hear anything about him in the boulevard magazine's like is he straight or why he's so stylish and looks like 20

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